Archive for the 'Delish- natch! Pshaw!' Category

Ruffles Beer Battered Onion Rings

Not sure if this is a Walmart exclusive or not, but that is the only place I have seen these. Don’t worry, we only go to WM for DoD related items.

Here is the issue that I was unaware of until now, this flavor of Ruffles came from a popular vote out of this particular deathmatch (these were the opening brackets):

March 11 — Sandwiches: Grilled Ham & Cheese vs. Sloppy Joe
March 12 — Sandwiches: Meatball Sub vs. French Dip
March 13 — Appetizers: Pepperoni Pizza vs. Beer Battered Onion Rings
March 14 — Appetizers: Fried Pickles vs. Bacon Wrapped Jalapenos
March 15 — Entrees: Baby Back Ribs vs. Steakhouse Sirloin
March 16 — Entrees: Smothered Chicken Fried Steak vs. Fajita
March 17 — Dips & Dogs: Wasabi Ranch vs. Spinach Bacon Dip
March 18 — Dips & Dogs: Loaded Hot Dog vs. Grilled Brats & Onions

I would of course blow up the solar system to eat myself to severe sickness on ALL OF THOSE. Of course everyone in the internet would feel like they would have to post about how they are SO OVER flavored potato chips and the FRESH FRIED HAND SLICED ONES they GOT at KATHLEEN’S TWITTER TRUCK were SO much better. For shame.

First bite you can taste the beeriness. Onion flavor is secondary to some sort of fried salty batter flavor, so I need to give the food scientists a tiny bit of credit on these because it had the essence a la fake a la real. Subsequent bites have that dorito effect where flavors become less distinct. Our bad seemed to have been kind of smashed up, and the fragments didn’t taste as good as the intact chips.

I want to wish the brat ones into immediate existence in my mouth.

Caramel Waffle Crisp Blizzard

WaffleCrispBlizzardSm.jpg

Despite the limited time offer for this Dairy Queen offering, I consider this an important entry in the category of waffle cone/caramel/chocolate-based ice cream combinations.  Is it better than Haagen Daaz Caramel Cone?  Probably not.  Is anything (excluding home-made offerings)?  Probably not.  What the Blizzard offers that you can’t get in a pre-packaged ice cream is an incredibly fresh and crispy waffle cone.  They use big pieces, and they don’t get too smushed up in the blizzardizer.  The chocolate chunks are tasty, although not sublime.  Where this flavour loses points for me (and so too does Americone Dream) is the actual caramel taste.  Caramel cone is based on Dulche de Leche, meaning it is caramel ice cream with caramel swirls.  Superr Yummmy.  When they make the blizzard, they start with plain vanilla ice cream, and blend it with caramel syrup.  This means that it still tastes like vanilla ice cream, just sweeter.  You don’t get the hydrocarbon flavour.  But the blizzard still delivers big time, as do all blizzards.  And yes, I licked the cup clean when I was finished.

Blue Girl Cocktail

A million years ago, I thought I’d create delicious drink combinations for all my internet friends, acquaintances, passerbys, hangers on, trolls, spammers, whomever would care to have something created for them. I didn’t do it. I never do anything. Now this blog can barely stay above water. Apparently nothing in this world is Delicious or Disgusting.

Well, be prepared for something delicious. Now, some people will try to act all masculine and claim the Blue Girl cocktail isn’t manly, or perhaps it’s “too sweet” (because they’re “too silly” to “appreciate” “anything good” even if it “bit” them in their “hating ass”). No no no no no NO. It is delicious. It is the Blue Girl Cocktail!

Glass. Ice to brim (natch). 1 to 1.5 (Blue! How could you!) parts Stolichnaya Peachik (Peach) Vodka. (Marketing note, appreciated by Blue Girl, this vodka used to be called “Stoli Persik,” presumably Russian or fake Russian for peach, over a picture of HUGE peaches over Words That Spell Out “RUSSIAN PEACH FLAVORED VODKA”, on top of that, the “Persik” was in cursive, just like “Stoli” so it was more like “foreign writing for atmosphere, noone will read anyway, there’s a big picture”). Now this stupid, yummy vodka is “Peachik,” in the same bottle, with the same label and same words. Welcome to stupid America, population stupid Americans. A new level of fake-fake Russian was invented. There are probably other reasons your product isn’t selling. IT’S NOT AVAILABLE IN MANY STATES. Anyhoo, this was obtained for your web log staff by yourpirateoverlord, making a real world appearance. Like we said, 1-2 parts Peach vodka, 1 entire POUCH Capri Sun Pacific Cooler, the Cooler the cooler kids drink who’s smart mom’s know that cooler kids love, buy the mongo pack at Costco. Lime wedge, lazily squeezed, for garnish, mix with handy-dandy Capri Sun straw (don’t poke yourself, use good straw technique).

Verdict: Delish, natch! Pshaw!