Monthly Archive for August, 2006

Smirnoff Raw Tea

OK, boys and girls. Here’s my advice to you: If you are ever in a dodgy Fenway Park area sports bar and order Mike’s Hard Lemonade or Smirnoff Ice and they tell you that they are out, but wouldn’t you like to try out the new Smirnoff Raw Tea, run. Don’t even look at the bottle. I made the mistake of thinking, sure, why not. I took one tentative sip and I almost gagged. It is the taste of sickeningly sweet iced tea with the most horrible artificial flavouring known to mankind. The bottle informed me that there was about 5% alcohol in the product, but I couldn’t taste any past the sickitude of the sweetness. I understand it comes in other flavours outside of lemon, but I can’t possibly imagine that they wouldn’t be even more disgusting. Just a shame. If, instead, they took the recipe of Nantucket Nectar’s Half and Half, and made a quality malt beverage from that, I think they might have a winner. But this is a clear loser.

Which brings me to the amusing part of all of this. Apparently, I was not among the one million plus people to see the latest marketing shenanigan associated with the new beverage, namely a viral video posted to YouTube, and targetting preppies and WASPs throughout the New England area (AG, this vid’s for you!). The video is kind of funny if it were simply a lame-ass spoof of gangsta rap videos, but it’s not really funny. It’s an ad. And it’s offensive. The video (hopefully successfully embedded below) features the fake group called Prep Unit and they are rapping about throwing a Tea Partay. Prep Unit raps, “We may be vanilla, but our labs are chocolate…”. I would offer them the alternative rap, “We may be making an advertisment, but our product is shite”. Sigh. This is putridly bad, so I guess it’s kind of funny, but I am sad. I honestly don’t think we’re horribly far from all entertainment being a marketing gimmick.

Oh yeah. Verdict: Disgusting. Really really disgusting.

UPDATE: Feminine Mistake has correctly revealed the progenitor of this incredibly successful yet lame ass advertisement to be the superior and more shocking Boyz in the Hood parody by Dynamite Hack

Husman’s Hawaiian Sweet Onion Potato Chips

As you may have not noticed, we are addicted to local and exotically flavored potato chips. Here, here, here.  So whenever we go someplace outside of the sphere of influence of the University of Suck™, we assess the situation as it were at the grocery store.  And we came back with these bad boys.

SynderBerlin-PC-HawOnion.jpg

“Those aren’t Cincinnati’s own Husmans,” say you.  “Those are Snyder’s of Berlin.”  Yes, you are correct, but this is the exact same or very similar bag the Husman’s came in, so there must be some flavor sharing betwixt the companies.  Here’s the dealio, these are kettle-style chips in that they are thicker and extra crispy, but not in the Dirty Chips, super hard and or excessively peanut-oily way that some kettle chips can be.  These are more like extra-thick Lays, lightly potatoey, NOT peanuty, and cruchy without being too hard.  The flavor is a super burst of sweet, oniony goodness, and reminds of the late, lamented Wise brand “Onion and Garlic” flavor.  These bad boys were yummy.  Sadly, I was forced to eat the whole bad.  The terrorists will have won once they come up with the “potato chip bomb” plot.  That will seriously f*** up America.

Verdict: Super Delicious.