Monthly Archive for June, 2008

The Led Zeppelin Burger-Swoof Guest Post

Swoof writes to us:

Are you familiar with a restaurant in Chicago called Kuma’s Korner?

It’s a heavy metal-themed burger joint with great beer. I ate there on Friday night and had a hell of a time deciding on which metal burger I was going to eat. I finally chose the Led Zeppelin. It’s a 10 oz. burger on a pretzel roll topped with several thick sliced of bacon AND at least 4 ounces of pulled pork(!) and cheddar cheese and pickles.

As I dove into that thing I thought I might need a snorkel.

There are some amateurish photos of said burger at my food blog.

I think the verdict can be none more black, and black is the new delicious. To 11!

Please check out the rest of the menu. I wouldn’t be insulted if you called me a goblin c*ck gobbler.

Burger King Ketchup And Fries Potato Snack-FISH VERSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fish brings us his take unknowing on UC’s primal ketchup chip territory.

There I was, minding my own business, strolling down the hallway past the vending machine, when I saw these. This is just the kind of junk food throwdown that I cannot ignore, so I dropped in the $0.60 needed to satisfy the jones for a bag-o-fries I didn’t know I had (if only they had the Flame Broiled Burger flavor in my machine). The bag was nearly ethereal when I picked it up, weighing nary an ounce. The front of the package contained the now famous saying “Have it Your Way.” All I could think was that this was being uttered by evil, bearded-Spock, because I believe this bag is the embodiment of anti-my way. But I soldiered on for science and the greater good.

I opened the bag.

I reeled back in horror.

I regained consciousness.

The smell of ketchup was stunning in both is emotional and physical impact. This was not a natural experience. I was not smelling the feet of god, it was of someone a bit more sinister. Perhaps Mike Huckabee.

I took out one of the “snacks” and had a closer look. It was a flat light tan rectangle, with a fine powder over it. The color of this power was red, but not in a way that evoked fond memories of dipping French fries in Heinz as you sat in a Burger King laughing it up with your high school buddies, but more like the red you see in the Kleenex after you gave yourself a bloody nose by jamming your finger up it one too many times.

I braced myself and I popped it in my mouth. The best word to describe them is “confusing.” It didn’t taste like a chip. It didn’t taste like a cracker, it was more like a chacker. With a flavor that neither evoked the thought of French fries, nor ketchup. More it evoked a sense of ennui. Not this Ennui which also contains an element of jejune, but more a sense that nothing happens when you eat them. I, of course, ate the whole bag. The product packed an initial wallop of olfactory sensation, but failed to elicit any other emotions whatsoever. It fell far short of the promise to have it my way. I am disappointed in the King. Maybe if he slept at my house tonight we could discuss the issues over Whopper Jr’s and if one thing leads to another, who knows what we will invent together…

Verdict: Dislishous.