KFC Double Down Sandwich-Swoof Guest Post*

*This blog is not liable for any KFC Double Down related heart or health problems for the valiant Swoof, whom we applaud for taking this gentlemanly slap on the face from KFC.

DoubleDown

With an hour to kill until the Celtic v. Arsenal match I thought I’d satisfy my growing curiosity about the KFC Double Down (the new KFC menu item consisting of two breaded chicken breasts playing as the bun for bacon and cheese), and really, with a soccer match taking place in Glasgow eating something fatty and disgusting looking seemed somehow appropriate. That the Double Down put me into a near coma was of no consequence to my enjoyment of the soccer match since Arsenal managed to win 2-0 without kicking or even heading the ball into the opponent’s goal.

Now let’s take a look at this thing, the Double Down. First the name. It’s clearly a dare on KFC’s part. Double down is something I do at a blackjack table when I have a 6 and a 5. It’s taking a risk for a greater reward. Is KFC implying I’m taking a risk by eating this thing? I think they are. Are they implying there is some greater reward for eating it? I hope not. When the person in the drive-thru handed me my sandwich she also handed me a card on which was a number I could call to give my impression of the Double Down in exchange for a $10 gift card. Clearly KFC is betting on instant death for at least a percentage of Double Down consumers.

“But how does it taste and what does it look like in real life?” you ask. The taste was pedestrian at best. “Ruff”, said Santa’s Little Helper. It’s standard Original Recipe chicken with a little bacon flavor. The cheese and mustardy sauce kind of cancel each other out into a bland sweetness.

It was also kind of impossible to eat in a civilized manner. Mine weighed in at around 9 oz. The commercial gives one the impression one could eat it with one hand on the wrapper. That is so not the case. The chicken does not have a uniform y-axis so often times the bite is too big for the mouth and everything sort of slides around in an ungainly manner due to the melted cheese and sauce. This is a “sandwich” to be eaten in the privacy of one’s own home with the blinds drawn and a napkin over one’s head so God can’t see.

I’m not sure what KFC is going for here. It’s not the low-carb crowd since the breading on the chicken is probably at least equal to a bun. The undiscerning, glutton crowd is a good bet, I guess, but does that market segment stop at chicken?

I Doubled Down and I drew a 4.

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