Blue Girl Cocktail

A million years ago, I thought I’d create delicious drink combinations for all my internet friends, acquaintances, passerbys, hangers on, trolls, spammers, whomever would care to have something created for them. I didn’t do it. I never do anything. Now this blog can barely stay above water. Apparently nothing in this world is Delicious or Disgusting.

Well, be prepared for something delicious. Now, some people will try to act all masculine and claim the Blue Girl cocktail isn’t manly, or perhaps it’s “too sweet” (because they’re “too silly” to “appreciate” “anything good” even if it “bit” them in their “hating ass”). No no no no no NO. It is delicious. It is the Blue Girl Cocktail!

Glass. Ice to brim (natch). 1 to 1.5 (Blue! How could you!) parts Stolichnaya Peachik (Peach) Vodka. (Marketing note, appreciated by Blue Girl, this vodka used to be called “Stoli Persik,” presumably Russian or fake Russian for peach, over a picture of HUGE peaches over Words That Spell Out “RUSSIAN PEACH FLAVORED VODKA”, on top of that, the “Persik” was in cursive, just like “Stoli” so it was more like “foreign writing for atmosphere, noone will read anyway, there’s a big picture”). Now this stupid, yummy vodka is “Peachik,” in the same bottle, with the same label and same words. Welcome to stupid America, population stupid Americans. A new level of fake-fake Russian was invented. There are probably other reasons your product isn’t selling. IT’S NOT AVAILABLE IN MANY STATES. Anyhoo, this was obtained for your web log staff by yourpirateoverlord, making a real world appearance. Like we said, 1-2 parts Peach vodka, 1 entire POUCH Capri Sun Pacific Cooler, the Cooler the cooler kids drink who’s smart mom’s know that cooler kids love, buy the mongo pack at Costco. Lime wedge, lazily squeezed, for garnish, mix with handy-dandy Capri Sun straw (don’t poke yourself, use good straw technique).

Verdict: Delish, natch! Pshaw!

13 Responses to “Blue Girl Cocktail”


  • Sounds totally like Road Trip Refreshments!

    Gonna hafta leave out that straw though. I’m always afraid I’m gonna poke my eye out with those things.

    Delish, indeed!@!~!

  • I love you, PP!

    You’ve inspired a blue girl post today! It’s not up yet. It’s gonna take awhile.

    /natch.

    🙂

    Me? Use a straw incorrectly?

    Pshaw!

    You’re right though. The one end is extremely pointy.

  • IT’S THE BLUE GIRL COCKTAIL. SMART MOM’S GOTTA PACK LUNCHES DONCHA KNOW. Might as well use what is present in your habitat.

  • Well my mom didn’t pack no Capri Sun and she’s smart. I think BG has got something better — maybe a Vernor’s or something.

  • The Uncanny Canadian

    Pinko Punko did make a drink for me, and it is my favourite all-time mixed drink. Perhaps it deserves its own delish or disgust.

  • That is a drink for your alter ego, it is neither uncanny nor canadian enough for your electronic self.

    I need to make Canadian club taste good for that drink.

  • Yes, “Persik” is real Russian for “peach”. Well, as real as “Stoli”. That is, it should be «??????» and «?????».

  • Perhaps you should make him a Canadian Club with Canada Dry, some back bacon and a flag sewn to the glass. And since he’s UC — only to be drank at shabbat meals.

  • The Uncanny Canadian

    Actually Canada Dry (the kind you get in Canada, made with actual sucrose) is probably one of the only things that can make Canadian Club taste acceptable. Of course, there’s nothing interesting about that drink. I guess some sour mix and a maraschino cherry would make it a little more interesting. Kind of a carbonated zingy edgy whisky sour.

    I was trying to think of a drink to make for plover, but given that the taste of a typical plover runs highly arthropodian, I haven’t found the right combination. It would have to be some kind of bloody caesar, with clamato of course. Maybe some Russian component so Plover could impress us with the Russian font stuff.

  • Canadian Club with Moxie.

  • because they’re “too silly” to “appreciate” “anything good” even if it “bit” them in their “hating ass”

    Why do I get the feeling this includes me? And perhaps only me?

    Anyway, your cocktail sounds like something an alcoholic housewife would be guzzling in the closet while the kids are having their after-school puddings snacks. Meredith Baxter will be the drunk mom in the Lifetime made-for-teevee movie, which will culminate in her hitting bottom while in the shower. Her mascara will be all running as she slides down the wall and crumples on the shower floor, weeping. In the end, she goes to rehab and her kids learn to love her again, even though she set them on fire that one time, because that was totally the booze talking.

  • Check out Zodiac – it has a blue cocktail scene that is worth the price of admission by itself – and the rest of the movie is pretty goo too.

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